No bad days. So goes the saying, right? Well, let me tell ya I have plenty of them. As a medical student on rotations (currently Internal Medicine), there are days when I feel like I’ve studied absolutely nothing. There are days when I forget the name of a particular drug. When I forget a drug’s mechanism of action. When my brain freezes and I can’t recall the pathophysiology of a disease. When I misspeak and say a diagnostic test is for one thing, but really it’s for another. When my awkwardness gets the best of me and my Resident sees me do something completely weird…like have a stare down with her when she asks me to do something and I follow up with a question to make sure I do it right😂 When my classmates answer questions correctly left and right and I’m left like a deer in headlights (Attendings, Residents, and Interns often ask questions throughout the day. It’s kind of like continuous oral quizzing in front of a group. Some of the questions are at a medical student level and some are not. It’s often termed pimping lol) …when I question myself, my abilities, and if I’m on the right track. I have my bad days. BUT I do my absolute Best not to dwell and stay there.
There are so many things that have happened on my path that really should have taken me out of the game! No, Really. So at this point, I am absolutely not going to let a bad day be the thing that does it. What do I do to dust myself off after the embarrassment of answering a question wrong or being caught in a weird Anya moment? I remind myself that I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m improving day by day. If I get something wrong, I look it up. I study more and definitely remember it for the next time. I also try to dwell on all the things I do know and do get right. Rome was not built in a day and neither are doctors. And that’s ok. I surround myself with friends and family who genuinely want the best for me and pray me through. I also surround myself with positive people in the field who aim to teach and mentor—not to humiliate and deter. I will never forget a significant conversation I had with the President and Dean of my school. She told me to stop saying I’m grateful to be in medical school. She told me I deserve to be in medical school. I earned it. And I need to get up everyday acting like it. She told me to have confidence and know mistakes are inevitable. They are all apart of the learning process. I could not believe someone of her merit would be so kind and so gracious. I replay that conversation every time I start to feel I’m having a bad day and it really picks me back up. I’ll never forget it.
I know the medical field is ultra competitive and, at times, extremely cut throat. Just know that learning is all about falling and getting right back up again. To all the students, you can do this. I’m in this with you. You can have a bad day. Just don’t stay there. There’s something so sweet about pushing past it and our current and future patients need us to do just that. As always, I’m rooting for YOU! #nobaddays
xoxo,
Anya
Photos by Tina Smith
